Reflecting on why I’ve personally chosen to work with coaches at certain times, whether that’s hiring for one-to-one support, enrolling in their programs, or buying courses/products. I’ve found that it’s clearly more than clever marketing, but there were human factors at play.
The reasons are often less about logic and more about human connection, trust, safety, and resonance. These are the invisible factors that create powerful coaching relationships, and they matter far more than we might think.
1. Connection
Most coaching journeys start with something simple but important, a sense of connection.
But before a connection can be made, the coach/consultant needs to be discovered. This can happen in many ways, social media, a website, a friend or recommendation.
Sometimes you come across someone’s content, hear them speak, or see a post they’ve written. Maybe it’s the way they speak, their energy, their story, or how they see the world.
I didn’t find that it was because they ticked all the boxes. It was because something resonated with me. I didn’t need to overthink it. I just had a feeling that, “I can trust this person.”
2. Trust
Coaching doesn’t work without trust. It’s the foundation of every meaningful conversation and commitment.
When someone feels safe enough to share what’s going on and commit to working with you, not just the socially acceptable version, that’s when true transformation becomes possible.
Trust is about creating a space where someone can finally stop performing and start being honest.
3. Direction
Most people who come to coaching aren’t totally lost, they might be standing at a crossroads, feeling stuck in the fog.
They might have goals or dreams in mind, but the way forward feels confusing. There’s a sense of “I kind of know what I want, I just don’t know how to get there, or don’t know what’s getting in the way.”
That’s the problem coaching often helps solve, helping clients to find clarity.
A good coach doesn’t hand over a step-by-step plan. Instead, they help you clear the fog, tune back into your own inner compass, and figure out what direction is truly right for you, not based on trends, pressure, or other people’s opinions.
4. Authenticity
No one wants a perfect coach. People are tired of polished personas and unrealistic promises. They want real humans, people who’ve gone through a similar journey, struggled too, who’ve questioned themselves, who don’t have it all figured out.
The more you show your genuine humanity, the more others feel safe to show theirs.
Being a great coach or consultant is about being honest, grounded, and human. Which is more important today than ever before.
5. Values & Purpose
Coaching is about living a life that feels aligned. Many clients are searching for more than efficiency. They want meaning. They want to know that what they’re building matters.
When a coach’s work is rooted in values and purpose, when it’s clear they care about something deeper than just making money, it creates a natural sense of trust.
6. Readiness
Sometimes, the reason someone chooses a coach isn’t just about the coach, it’s about timing.
They’ve reached a point in life where something needs to shift. They may not even know what it is yet, but they can feel the pull.
And when they find a coach who speaks to that inner knowing, that quiet sense of now’s the time. Which is why patience is key.
You don’t need to do more, perform more, or be more in order to create transformation. You just need to show up with presence, care, and presence. Because at the end of the day, people don’t choose coaches based on how impressive they are. They choose based on how real they are, and how they make them feel.
