“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”
— Lao Tzu
Imagine you’re sitting with a client. The air feels heavy, filled with a silence that holds more truth than words can express. They’ve just finished a sentence, and you feel the weight of what’s been left unsaid.
Instead of rushing to fill the void, you resist the urge to respond. You don’t reach for a clever question or a coaching framework. You just stay with them, in the silence, in the pure, felt moment.
And in that space, something shifts. A tear falls. A breath deepens. An insight bubbles up, not from your knowledge, but from the depths of their own being. You didn’t do much at all. You simply slowed down enough to enter inner stillness. Could the secret to transformative coaching be… going slower?
When Less Is More – The Pace That Transforms
In modern coaching, there’s a powerful and often unspoken pressure to move quickly. We feel we need to “deliver value,” hit goals, and keep the session moving with powerful questions.
But this speed creates a paradox. The faster you go, the more you miss, such as the subtle tremble in a client’s voice, the hidden wisdom beneath their words, and the deep space where genuine transformation occurs.
This isn’t a problem of time management, but it’s a lack of presence. When we rush, we coach from the head, focused on intellect and strategy. But the real magic happens in the heart, and the heart speaks a much slower, more deliberate language.
The Portal of Soul Time
I invite you to step into a deeper level of presence, a space beyond clocks and checklists where you can get into the deeper rhythm of your client’s inner world.
In this place, slowing down is a doorway where:
- Inner Stillness becomes a co-coach.
- Intuition sharpens.
- Emotions find the room they need to breathe.
- The client’s deeper self begins to emerge.
This portal leads you from surface-level conversations to a deeper-level of transformation.
Ways to Practice Slowing Down in Coaching Sessions
Here are five ways to begin:
1. Slow Down Before the Session Begins
The quality of a session is often determined before it even begins. By slowing down and creating a deliberate practice, you can shift from a hurried state to one of deep presence and focus. This rhythm invites the depth needed for a truly transformative conversation.
Before each session, take just a few minutes for yourself:
- Press the pause button and let your thoughts quiet so you feel more connected to the moment.
- Release the future. Release the past. Breathe.
- Let go of all judgement and agendas, goals, and expectations about what you need to happen.
- Create an intention to being here, and nowhere else.
This simple act transforms the air you carry into the session, allowing you to be deeply present.
2. Speak More Slowly (and with Fewer Words)
Your pace sets the tone for the entire conversation. By speaking more slowly and with fewer words, you create space and signal that there’s no rush.
- Speak Slowly: Your deliberate pace invites your client to slow down with you, creating a more relaxed and thoughtful atmosphere.
- Allow Pauses: Resist the urge to fill every silence. These moments of stillness give your client (and you) time to process, reflect, and connect on a deeper level.
- Use Fewer Words: Concise language cuts through the noise. Instead of long-winded explanations, use simple, powerful phrasing that gets to the heart of the matter.
3. Let the Space Created Do the Heavy Lifting
Silence is a space that is created for deeper insights to emerge.
- Hold the Pause: After your client finishes speaking, resist the immediate urge to react. Pause for a few seconds. This simple practice allows silence to settle, giving them the opportunity to reflect on what they’ve just said.
- The Ego Steps Aside: In the quiet, the intellectual mind, the ego that feels the need to have all the answers stops talking. This is the moment a deeper, more truthful voice can emerge from the conversation.
- Listen to What Isn’t Said: By holding the silence, you tune into more than just words. You become attuned to their body language, their energy, and the quiet emotions that rise to the surface.
4. Feel Into the Session, Not Just ‘Thinking’ Into It
The most profound insights often bypass the intellect. By tuning into your body and intuition, you can access a deeper level of understanding that thinking alone can’t reach.
- Become more sensitive: Your body is a powerful guide. Pay attention to its subtle signals, as it often picks up on emotions and energy that words don’t express. A tension in your shoulders, gut? These physical sensations can be a window into the deeper reality of the conversation.
- Observe images or intuitions: Pay attention to any sudden images, phrases, or feelings that come to mind. These intuitive flashes can be a powerful guide.
- Sense the energy underneath their words: Listen beyond the literal meaning. What is the emotional tone of the conversation? Is there a sense of excitement, fear, or hesitation? This subtext can reveal more than their spoken message.
5. End with Spaciousness
The final moments of a session are as important as the first. Instead of cramming in a summary or a final insight, create space for your client’s own wisdom to emerge.
End the session with a simple, open-ended question that invites reflection and quiet understanding:
- “What are you noticing now?”
- “Is there anything still stirring that wants to be voiced?”
Observing the space between the words
Clients come to be seen, heard, and understood. They’re searching for a space to reconnect with who they truly are.
By slowing down, you create an environment for true transformation.
- Building deeper trust: Your presence and patience signal that you’re fully invested.
- You create more healing moments: A slower pace allows emotions to surface and be processed, leading to genuine breakthroughs.
- You allow what wants to emerge actually to show up: The most profound insights often require silence and space to be found.
